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Teens, Texting And Driving. A Lethal Combination

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Let’s face it, as a teen you’re not the most experienced driver on the road, now add texting to that and you have an accident just waiting to happen – possibly a fatal one. We want our teens to have their phones for emergencies, but at the same time we can’t be by their sides every time they leave the house and even worse, get behind the wheel of a car. To a teen, one of the most important things in the world is that text coming in right now! The fact is most teens are addicted to texting and have no problem ignoring the world around them to answer a text. It is unfortunately part of living in a social media driven society, and is the cause of nearly 25% of all car accidents. So what do we do as parents to keep our teens from texting while driving?

When trying to tackle the herculean task of getting through to a teen while talking to them openly about the dangers of texting and driving, there are other things you can do. One of the most effective ways to teach a teen is to lead by example. Make it a solid habit not to answer any texts while driving your car, obviously all of the time but especially when your children are in the car with you. When receiving a text or a call while driving, make it an obvious point that you are ignoring it and can get it when you reach your destination – NOT AT A STOPLIGHT. Our children are sponges and soak up everything around them. If you’re leading by example, they will pick up on it.

Also make it a rule that before they leave the house in a car, the only texts or calls from you will be an emergency. If they receive a text from you while they are driving, then they know it’s an emergency and should pull into a parking lot and check your text. But be sure you are ONLY texting them unless it is absolutely necessary. Sending them a text, asking them to bring milk home is not an emergency. Tell them when they are no longer driving it’s okay for you to contact them for the time being. When they hit the road again, they should tell you texts are off limits and so on. This will only work if there are repercussions for not following the guidelines of the rules. If they don’t follow the rules, they lose their phones for an allotted time frame that you are clear about up front. You as a parent have to sick to the rules as well. Remember – lead by example.

If you feel the above ideas are not working, you can invest in a texting-blocking app. A lot of parents install hands-free software in their teen’s cars to encourage them to use speech to text…which is not a good idea. Research shows that hands-free systems are even more dangerous. Your child should not text or talk while driving. Cut the problem off at the chock point. Install an app that blocks their teens from being able to text while driving. For a list of apps that block texting while driving- CLICK HERE.

To Read even more ideas to control texting a driving, click on the link to Modernmom.com 

Second-Born Children Are More Likely To Be Criminals

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This is not good news for me. I am second born – let’s read on to see how much trouble I’m in. A recent study shows evidence that second-born children are more likely to end up being trouble makers. Second born children are more prone to trouble at school or to have issues with law enforcement later in life. As a second born child myself, I can’t say that I have any experience with getting in trouble with the law, but getting in trouble in school, I can certainly vouch for.

The research was conducted at MIT, Northwestern and University of Florida ( and a few others) followed thousands of sets of brothers in Denmark and the state of Florida—two extremely different cultures. The studies found that second born children were more apt to rebel against authority figures in both locations. Actually, second-born boys are 20 to 40 percent more likely to rebel in school and enter the criminal justice system compared to first-born boys,  even when we compare siblings. That’s pretty remarkable seeing as how the studies were done in different cultures. Why is this? Authors of the study have theories that this higher risk of delinquency could be due to the fact that second-born children do not receive the one-on-one attention that their older brothers or sisters did. This may be one reason why they act out as a way to get their parents to pay more attention to them.

To read the Full Article from Simplemost.com….CLICK HERE! 

 

Dad Proves That His Love For His Kids Is More Important Than Any Issues With His Ex-Wife

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Nothing in life is perfect and that includes relationships. Sometimes they start off like fairy tales, but somewhere along the line,  what was once a dream that you wanted to last forever can suddenly turn into nightmare that you can’t wake up from. It happens and it’s not the end of the world, but unfortunately it often happens after you have kids together. You try for a while to stay together for the kids, but it doesn’t take long to realize your efforts are causing more harm than good – for the entire family. So you decide to call it quits and work out a plan for each of you to be able to spend time with your child equally. Seems like you thought of everything, drop offs, pick up’s, school, holiday visits etc. – but did you think of one of the most important things of all? How you’re going to interact and talk about your ex in front of your child from now on. This father did.

We as parents try so hard to contentiously set good examples for our children so that they grow up into smart, level headed, polite, strong adults. The one thing we sometimes forget is the unconscious behavior we exhibit when they are around. We will be so careful to not curse around them, keep them from watching inappropriate movies and television shows, yet at the same time, on a visitation pick up we will ask them, “How is that so called father of yours? Did he give you my child support check?  Who the latest tramp he’s dating? What did he say about me this time?” Wow – if that doesn’t just kill all of the constructive things you do for your child I don’t know what does. That is pretty much the total opposite of setting a good example and hoping they grow into adults that are as baggage free as possible. Of course we can’t ensure that totally. Everyone has baggage, but we don’t have to add to it, traumatizing them at the same time.

This particular dad who believes he kids are important enough for him to swallow his pride states “I’m raising two little men. The example I set for how I treat their mom is going to significantly shape how they see and treat women and affect their perception of relationships,” I think even more so in my case because we are divorced. So if you aren’t modeling good relationship behavior for your kids, get your sh*t together. Rise above it and be an example. This is bigger than you.”

What a wonderful thing to do for your kids, no matter how much you think your spouse is the devil.

To read the full article on this father from Popsugar.com…CLICK HERE. 

Working Moms Feel Guilty All the Time

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Working Moms Feel Guilty All the Time Because of Their Childhoods, Says Science

When I grew up, ya know back in 1980’s – the olden days, moms were the ones who stayed home with the kids and handled all of the domestic chores while dad went to work. There was not a time when I came home from school and my mom was not there. That’s just the way it was. As I grew up that began to be less common with my age group. Today finding a mom who stays home with the kids is far and few in between and there are a variety of reasons for that, some personal preference and economic as well – but that’s a different story. The issue today is that a lot of moms feel guilty not being home with their children. Recent studies show guilt many working moms feel is actually brought on by their own childhood experiences.

Research was conducted at Queen Mary University in London. Researchers conducted 148 interviews with 78 different male and female employees from multiple different accounting and legal firms.  Dr. Iona Lupu, co-author of the study said “We are not blank slates when we join the workforce. Many of our attitudes [about work and family] are already deeply ingrained from childhood.” That makes perfect sense. I clearly remember my mother telling my sister and I how she loved her job, but felt that is was her responsibility to stay home with us kids. But like I said earlier, it was much different back when I grew up – especially economically. One female participant in the study stated “I do remember my mother always regretting she didn’t have a job outside the home and that was something that influenced me and all my sisters…. She’d encourage us to find a career where we could work. She was quite academic herself, more educated than my father, but because of the nature of families and young children, she’d had to become this stay-at-home parent.”

The study does not completely get rid of the guilt some working moms feel, but it does provide some great insight as to where those feelings come from. Childhoods have a major impact on our feelings toward our careers -more than we realize.  The “traditional” role of moms has changed dramatically since we were kids and we can’t erase those feelings of guilt, studies like these can help us understand and be more accepting of what motherhood should be.

To read the full article from Cafe Moms….CLICK HERE! 

My Last Firsts (Video)

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Last week, my youngest (who just turned 4) learned how to swim by herself for the very first time!   She was SOOOO excited and SUPER proud of herself!  Of course, I was a “proud mama” as well but (I’m gonna be real with you) I kinda had to fake my happiness…. a little bit.   I couldn’t help but feel sad; it was THE LAST “first time swimming by yourself” experience I was going to have as a mother (I’m done having children).

Anyhoo…  I did a pretty good job at faking it and I wanted to share the “happy” moment with you.  Enjoy!   🙂

~Amber​

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