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For San Diego Moms and Moms-To-Be

Parenting Things You Don’t Realize You’re Doing Because You Had A Toxic Mother

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Just because you have become a mother, that doesn’t mean you stop being someone’s child. The effects of an abusive, toxic, or damaging mother can be passed down through generations without you even knowing it. New mothers hoping to take their parenting down another, non-toxic direction have a tough road to travel.

Kathryn Smerling, Ph.D., LCSW, a family therapy professional who practices in Manhattan states, “There is an axiom in family therapy known as repeat and repair; you either repeat the same mistakes or repair them. Either you mindlessly keep the same cycle going that you experienced as a child or you decide to be the one to make the change. To stop a hurtful cycle in its tracks, you have to understand what about your childhood worked, and what didn’t. You can educate yourself about healthy parenting practices, and put your knowledge to work each day as you endeavor to break the cycle.”

Try hard not to let the past creep up on the present. These damaged roots influence just about everything in our lives — and go much deeper than you realize. The past is a part of you. The way you were raised influences psychological and emotional development. It can hinder your ability to move on in this world with purpose and comfort.

One thing we often do when trying to change patterns is overcompensation.  Keep in mind though that trying to be the perfect parent all the time is incredibly stressful, and sadly, usually doomed to fail. You’re not Supergirl and shouldn’t try to pretend to be. Relax, take lots of deep breaths and be aware of your actions and what you’re trying to overcome.

Possibly one of the most important things to remember is to not forget about self-care. It’s so vitally important to remember to make time for self-care. Yoga classes, therapy, artistic pursuits, and hobbies. Remember what they tell you on a commercial airline flight – secure your own oxygen mask before helping others. It translates into many facets of life – you are no good to others if you can’t function properly yourself.

Don’t give up and DON’T GIVE INTO ANGER. Once you give in to anger and frustration you have lost. Stay on course, taking time for yourself when you feel overwhelmed. Talk to your spouse, friends and family for support.

To read more about this topic, go to romper.com

SD Moms Podcast: Chores and Punishments

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Amber and Sara are radio hosts on KSON and Sunny 98.1, Jessica is producer for John & Tammy in the Morning on KSON. They're also San Diego moms!

Each week, they meet to vent about what’s been going on in their lives as moms and invite you to vent along with them!

All about chores and punishments.  Kids do better when their rooms are clean, and if you lay down the rules, make sure to stick to your words!

Toys From The ’90s That Are Worth Money!

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When thinking of the 1990’s, what toys pop into your head? Snap Bracelets, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, X-Men, maybe Beanie Babies? There’s a chance you’re still obsessed with or fondly remember the toys and collectibles of the nineties. If you are, you may want to get out in the garage or hit the attic and start rummaging through boxes. If you happened to save some of your toys from the decade, you could be sitting on some cash.

Some people like Mark Bellomo, a toy-collecting expert and author of several books including, The Ultimate Guide to Vintage Transformers Action Figures have been collecting toys for years and even as a children, never opened some of their toys to keep them in pristine condition. Contrary to what most people think, Mark says in his book, “It’s rarely the action figure that’s worth a lot of money — it’s the accouterment because that’s what makes the figure complete. Accessories are as important or more important than the base figure itself.” Owning more than 65,000 toys, Bellomo is considered an expert in the toy collecting field. He knows how toy collectors think, and what makes a toy worth something.

Of course 1990’s toys haven’t aged as much as toys from the seventies and eighties which in general means they are not worth as much. Bellomo says, “Usually 15 years later is when the market starts to bear fruit.” That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t start taking a look to see what you may have. You could be surprised.

A few examples of toys that are currently worth placing on eBay are;

American Girl Dolls: Kirsten Larson
The Kirsten Larson American Girl doll can sell for roughly $1,500. But of course, there’s a caveat. Bellomo says the doll will only fetch that amount if she’s sealed in the original package and comes with all of her original accessories.

Deluxe Power Rangers Gold Galaxy Megazord
A rare find is the Deluxe Power Rangers Gold Galaxy Megazord released in black and gold – extremely limited in 1999. In fact, the toy was only sold at the now-defunct FAO Schwartz and today could fetch up to $1000 on the secondary market.

Sega Genesis and Games
The console and even some Sega games can go from $300-400 dollars, but the key requirement is everything needs to be sealed in its original packaging and in mint condition.

Toy Biz Rare X-Men Action Figures
Toy Biz was one of the few companies to hold the license for DC and Marvel at the same time in the nineties. If the action figure is still in the package and is in pristine condition, it may fetch anywhere from $50-$200

To see more toys that may be of value from the 1990’s, go to huffingtonpost.com.

Disturbing New Phone Scam Makes Parents Think Their Kids Have Been Kidnapped

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One of a parent’s worst fears is their child being kidnapped. The thought is so horrific to parents that just imagining it is almost too much to handle. We do everything in our power to assure that our children are safe and sound. According to recent reports out of Washington State, a scammer is taking advantage of those fears and is pretending to kidnap kids and demanding ransom from their parents.

Recently, mom Kelly Nelson took a call from a blocked number and heard a little girl crying out for her mother in the background. Kelly assumed it was just a wrong number, but then as her hear dropped, she had her worst nightmare realized. A man got the phone and said, ‘is this Kelly? We have Rebecca.'” Nelson had just dropped Rebecca, her 13-year-old daughter, off at school that morning.

Nelson says that a man with an accent told her that he had kidnapped Rebecca and was going to hurt her if Kelly didn’t pay him. According to the mother, the man debated the ransom amount before finally settling on $500. As the “kidnapper” and Nelson debated a location point to exchange the ransom, the mother made a point to take careful notes so she could remember what he was saying.

As soon as Nelson hung up the phone, she immediately told her husband to call her daughters’ school. School administrators were quickly able to confirm that the couple’s daughters were safe and in class. Kelly promptly got the police involved and stated,”Until I could say my kid was at school, I was just in panic mode.”

Sgt. Ryan Abbott from the King County Sheriff’s Office stated that local police aren’t sure if the scammer has targeted more than these two families. But they’ve issued an official warning to parents to stay alert just in case. Sgt. Ryan said, “If it seems like a scam, if everything doesn’t seem to add up, then you’re probably right into another scam. Don’t ever give them any personal information.”
If you or any other parents feel like you have been targeted by this scam, they should write down as much information about the call as they can remember, and immediately call the police to report it.

Read more at thestir.cafemom.com.

 

Babies Who Look Like Their Fathers Are Healthier?

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Well at least that’s what this study says. The study found that even though an infant may be living with his or her single mother, they tend to be healthier after one year if the infant closely resembles their father.  This may be attributed to a youngster who closely resembles his or her dad is more likely to spend time with him.

If looks could heal: Child health and paternal investment is the name of the research and was published in the Journal of Health Economics. It looked at 715 mothers and fathers who did not live together. These single parents were interviewed just after birth and then again just less than a year later. One of the authors of the study, Solomon Polachek, a professor at New York’s Binghamton University stated that “Fathers are important in raising a child, and it manifests itself in the health of the child.”

It was also noted that fathers who looked a lot like their babies spent an average of 2.5 more days per month with them rather than those fathers who didn’t resemble their offspring.

You can read more about this at usatoday.com 

 

 

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