Working Moms Feel Guilty All the Time Because of Their Childhoods, Says Science
When I grew up, ya know back in 1980’s – the olden days, moms were the ones who stayed home with the kids and handled all of the domestic chores while dad went to work. There was not a time when I came home from school and my mom was not there. That’s just the way it was. As I grew up that began to be less common with my age group. Today finding a mom who stays home with the kids is far and few in between and there are a variety of reasons for that, some personal preference and economic as well – but that’s a different story. The issue today is that a lot of moms feel guilty not being home with their children. Recent studies show guilt many working moms feel is actually brought on by their own childhood experiences.
Research was conducted at Queen Mary University in London. Researchers conducted 148 interviews with 78 different male and female employees from multiple different accounting and legal firms. Dr. Iona Lupu, co-author of the study said “We are not blank slates when we join the workforce. Many of our attitudes [about work and family] are already deeply ingrained from childhood.” That makes perfect sense. I clearly remember my mother telling my sister and I how she loved her job, but felt that is was her responsibility to stay home with us kids. But like I said earlier, it was much different back when I grew up – especially economically. One female participant in the study stated “I do remember my mother always regretting she didn’t have a job outside the home and that was something that influenced me and all my sisters…. She’d encourage us to find a career where we could work. She was quite academic herself, more educated than my father, but because of the nature of families and young children, she’d had to become this stay-at-home parent.”
The study does not completely get rid of the guilt some working moms feel, but it does provide some great insight as to where those feelings come from. Childhoods have a major impact on our feelings toward our careers -more than we realize. The “traditional” role of moms has changed dramatically since we were kids and we can’t erase those feelings of guilt, studies like these can help us understand and be more accepting of what motherhood should be.
To read the full article from Cafe Moms….CLICK HERE!