For San Diego Moms and Moms-To-Be
Dana is one half of the duo Dana & Jayson in the Morning on ALT 949 in San Diego.
Time for another in the series of 'Why Mommy Drinks'!
Being the mom to three daughters under the age of 10 is a full-time job in itself, and this morning, we found out the latest thing causing Dana to hit the bottle.
What is draining her energy and her account balance this week?
We have the answers with this edition of Why Mommy Drinks.
Amber and Steph had planned on writing a short synopsis of this podcast…but they were just too tired.
There is and has been a definite decline in children’s social, emotional, and academic functioning. It has 
been apparent for years. Kids these days are constantly complaining that they are bored, and even worse they feel and believe that they are entitled in every sense of the word. When they get out into the real world, they are in for a sweet treat.
Occupational Therapist Victoria Prooday states, “As we know, the brain is malleable. Through environment, we can make the brain “stronger” or make it “weaker”. I truly believe that, despite all our greatest intentions, we unfortunately remold our children’s brains in the wrong direction.”
A few things we have done without even thinking about it;
Kids get everything they want, when they want it. We have the best intentions as parents to please our children and keep them happy. Unfortunately, we make them happy at the moment but miserable in the long term. When you are able to delay gratification to your child, you are helping them to be able to function under stress. By giving them immediate gratification every time they open their mouth, we are setting them up to be less equipped to deal with even minor stressors. These minor situations of stress eventually become huge obstacles to their success in life.
Our children also have very limited social interaction these days. Kids used to play outside for hours. Remember mom saying, “Make sure your back inside when the streetlights come on.” Unfortunately, technology has replaced valuable outdoor time. It has also made us parents less available to interact with our children. We need to keep in mind – most successful people have great social skills. This is something that we cannot substitute.
One of the biggest issues is Endless Amounts of Fun. There are no dull moments for them to sit and think, or decompress. The second it becomes quiet, we feel it’s our job to get them entertained again right away! We feel that we are not doing our job as parents if they don’t always have something fun to do. This is a HUGE mistake on our behalves. For example, when they go to school and it is time for handwriting or math, their answer is “I can’t. It is too hard or it’s too boring.” The part of their brain that is the workable “muscle” is not getting trained through endless fun. It gets trained through work. It’s very important in those times when they say they are bored, give them a chore to do. Have them do laundry, wash dishes or mow the lawn. This is not being a mean parent. It’s being a good parent.
Read more at deeprootsathome.com
Are they really creative parenting solutions or are they straight up lies? We all tell our children them
whether we realize it or not. We don’t do it to be mean, or to teach our children that lying is okay. Most times we are doing it to protect them, but there are those times when we tell them little white lies to maybe keep the whole desert for ourselves, or to get them to go to bed when nothing else works. It’s not that we’re going through our whole day never telling them the truth, but come on…you have to admit that sometimes it’s so much easier and makes better sense rather than fighting them every step of the way.
Now that we’ve all admitted that we do it, let’s take a look at some of the “little white lies” that we tell our children.
Did you ever want to keep the whole piece of cake for yourself and say…”This food is too spicy for you.” Kids are afraid of pepper and spicy like adults are afraid of taxes so this one usually works 100% of the time.
Another famous one is “This toy is broken.” Maybe you’re just tired of hearing the sirens on the toy police car and ripped out the batteries, or maybe you don’t feel like replacing them when they wear out. I don’t blame you…batteries are expensive.
Kids have a built in radar. Check it out next time you are driving. They know exactly when and where the McDonald’s is coming up. It’s kind of eerie actually. We can’t stop and get them McDonald’s every time they want it, plus we’re on a diet and can’t deal with the smell of those hamburgers so we say, “McDonald’s is closed.”
Perhaps the most popular is the ever popular, “Santa Claus is watching.” That one kind of a double whammy lie since you’ve already lied about the existence of Santa.
Have fun reading more of these at Cafemom.com.
Just the words separation anxiety gives me feelings of separation anxiety…yikes! It’s such a real thing and
a LOT of children and adults suffer from it. Separation anxiety is a strange thing. A baby or toddler may not have it one day, but then the next day it may hit.
Sara Abbot, associate director of the Family Resource Counseling Center in Los Angeles says, “Separation anxiety can happen almost overnight, which makes it shocking to parents,” Even more than that, it can and in most cases carries over to later in life. The tears and feelings of abandonment are very real and emotionally traumatic. As disheartening as that may sound, it can be very helpful to remember that separation anxiety is completely normal, even healthy. “From the earliest years of life, we should want children to encounter ordinary adversity because it’s practice for building resilience,” says Aaron Cooper, Ph.D.
There is no set age from child to child. Separation anxiety typically first hits around 8 months, when babies suddenly grasp that their parents exist apart from them. It’s literally like turning on a light switch. They understand you leaving, but what they don’t understand is that you’re coming back. This anxiety may last several weeks, or even a few months, until your child realizes that you’re not, in fact, abandoning him for life.
To get make this as easy on your child as you can start practicing early. Most importantly DON’T BE SELFISH. Keep your goodbyes short. Don’t hang around for 10 minutes saying goodbye while they gush tears. You are doing this for your own benefit because you feel guilty leaving them. Say goodbye, and that you will see them later and walk away. Let them cry…trust me…they will stop very soon after your gone, but never will if your hanging around.
One more important thing to remember is don just “sneak off.” Talk about trauma! Let them know you’re leaving and reassure them that you will be back. Always reassure them, keep your promises and it will make it that much easier. If you want to go sit in the car and cry for 5 minutes do it! Leaving them will get easier and tears will fade once they are used to the fact that mommy is coming back.
Read more at parenting.com
Kaiser Permanente: Health Research