Each week they meet to vent about what’s been going on in their lives as moms and invite you to vent along with them!
“Making new Mommy friends” is the subject this week. Thanks for listening!
“Making new Mommy friends” is the subject this week. Thanks for listening!
Just the words separation anxiety gives me feelings of separation anxiety…yikes! It’s such a real thing and a LOT of children and adults suffer from it. Separation anxiety is a strange thing. A baby or toddler may not have it one day, but then the next day it may hit.
Sara Abbot, associate director of the Family Resource Counseling Center in Los Angeles says, “Separation anxiety can happen almost overnight, which makes it shocking to parents,” Even more than that, it can and in most cases carries over to later in life. The tears and feelings of abandonment are very real and emotionally traumatic. As disheartening as that may sound, it can be very helpful to remember that separation anxiety is completely normal, even healthy. “From the earliest years of life, we should want children to encounter ordinary adversity because it’s practice for building resilience,” says Aaron Cooper, Ph.D.
There is no set age from child to child. Separation anxiety typically first hits around 8 months, when babies suddenly grasp that their parents exist apart from them. It’s literally like turning on a light switch. They understand you leaving, but what they don’t understand is that you’re coming back. This anxiety may last several weeks, or even a few months, until your child realizes that you’re not, in fact, abandoning him for life.
To get make this as easy on your child as you can start practicing early. Most importantly DON’T BE SELFISH. Keep your goodbyes short. Don’t hang around for 10 minutes saying goodbye while they gush tears. You are doing this for your own benefit because you feel guilty leaving them. Say goodbye, and that you will see them later and walk away. Let them cry…trust me…they will stop very soon after your gone, but never will if your hanging around.
One more important thing to remember is don just “sneak off.” Talk about trauma! Let them know you’re leaving and reassure them that you will be back. Always reassure them, keep your promises and it will make it that much easier. If you want to go sit in the car and cry for 5 minutes do it! Leaving them will get easier and tears will fade once they are used to the fact that mommy is coming back.
Read more at parenting.com
Young people seem to have quite a relationship with their headphones or ear buds don’t they. No matter where they are, or what they are doing, they have their music. Why is a teen’s music so important and necessary to them?
According to research, a teenager’s music is a way of defining and sharing their sense of self identity. Clinical social worker Kathryn Rudlin says, “Teens tend to gravitate to music describing what they are feeling and what is important to them.” Teenagers are desperately trying to make sense of a world that usually doesn’t make sense to them. Often times the words in popular songs that your teen is drawn to expresses their own feelings and experiences. It could be love, hate, sadness, happiness…teens have extremely powerful emotions on all sides of the hormonal spectrum. Research is now showing that music is actually helping their brains develop as they grow.
Don’t get jealous of your teens ear buds. Parents want to be their child’s sounding board and you still can at times. Music however is more immediate to them. To a teenager, the singer is singing that song directly to them and knows exactly how they feel.
Most importantly just as you did when you were younger, your teen is exploring identity. A teenager bonding with her friends who like the same music helps your teen understand themselves. Also let them try out different musical genres. Music for your teenager is a legitimate path to self-discovery.
You can read more on this at huffingtonpost.com
I’m pretty certain you don’t think, or even want to consider that you child is a brat because of you. I mean…who would want to – after all that’s a tough pill to swallow. Parenting is an uphill battle most of the time (or so it feels), no matter what age your child is. It feels like you’re in a fishbowl and whatever you’re doing is constantly being scrutinized by strangers, friends, and family. If you’re too involved, you’re raising weak children. If you’re not involved enough, you’re a bad parent and neglectful. Now you’re reading an article about how it’s your fault that your child is a brat! Sigh…where does it end?
Although children might pick up bad behavior by modeling what they see on TV or at school, parents are still to blame if they don’t put an end to it. Some parents insist on saying “Oh it’s the age they’re at.” In certain cases that’s true, but using it as a crutch or excuse for their behavior is not the way to help them. Elaine Rose Glickman, author of Your Kid’s a Brat and its All Your Fault says “If we don’t teach our kids a better way, nobody else is stepping up to do so.”
There are ways to stop that bratty behavior. First step is realizing what you’re doing to contribute to it. Don’t get defensive and place blame on someone or someplace else. For example while your child is whining, biting or hitting, saying that’s just what toddlers do could be setting you up for a rough ride ahead. Even at a young age, you must have consequences for your child past hugging them. A hug isn’t always the deserved solution.
One of the other ways to break this behavior is to stop giving them a sense of entitlement. We HATE telling our children no. That’s natural, who wants to see their child sad? But when kids become accustomed to hearing “yes” most of the time, it ends up adding up to be a sense of entitlement where they feel like nothing is enough, which isn’t doing them any favors. When they hit the real world someday, they are in for a sweet treat when they start hearing no.
These are just a couple of things to watch out for as a parent. Go to Popsugar.com to read about more ways to break this cycle.
Most parents freak out when they hear the word mess. Once look at dirt or paint on your child’s hands sends you into an immediate panic to the sink to wash it off. Why do we as parents do this? Why is a mess so darn freighting? The fact of the matter is – children learn best when they engage multiple senses. Sometimes the messier they are, the better. The more they can touch, taste, see, feel and hear the more they are learning while they play and that’s the goal.
One idea you can get involved as a parent, in kind of a controlled mess is nontoxic body paint. This is water-based paint that you can onto their skin. Use bright, vibrant colors to really stimulate those senses. Relax…when they are done playing, just rinse the paint away with water.
Shaving cream is also a child favorite that you will find a lot of preschools and kindergartens using for sensory play. Just spray it on a table or smooth surface and let them go! It’s like finger painting, but guess what? It just wipes up with rag and your table will be cleaner than it was…its soap! Just be sure to keep it away from their eyes.
Also don’t forget…teens and tweens need to get messy too. A great activity that also teaches them independence is cooking. Cooking and creating a meal is the ultimate sensory experience. Once you teach them the basics, let them try a recipe by themselves or with a friend. You can supervise from a distance, but try not to interfere. Don’t stress about the mess and mistakes are okay. Since they are older, you don’t even have to clean up the mess. Make it a rule that they cook…they clean.
For more messy ideas from San Diego Family Magazine…CLICK HERE!