In this episode of My S.D. Moms, we talk about how hard it is to practice self-care as a mom, especially a NEW mom, like producer Jess. We get perspective from special guest, Tammy, of KSON’s John & Tammy In The Morning, who is on the other end of the spectrum, having already raised her kids. Here’s how these mom’s have taken steps to get better at self-care.
While many adults already deal with problems sleeping, along comes a pregnancy and things get even worse!
Getting to sleep, staying asleep and getting quality sleep are all challenges made even more difficult by being pregnant, or being a new parent. And these problems don’t just affect mom. Her partner can be just as affected.
Despite the fact that interruptions to sleep routines will happen, it helps to understand what’s happening and keep certain tips in mind that can alleviate some of the stress and improve the sleep you do get.
The Sleep Help Institute has put together some excellent guides to help this happen.
A look at how pregnancy can affect sleep. The Sleep Help Institute covers each trimester with information on what to expect, best practices and tips. There are notes on the best sleep positions for moms – and positions to avoid. You’ll learn the benefits of exercise, eating right and helping your partner get better sleep.
If they don’t get enough sleep, children suffer. It can make them irritable, lethargic and affect their learning and attitudes. The Institute’s article has a helpful Sleep Guide, tips for creating a healthy sleep routine and info about choosing the best mattress. Learn how to deal with nightmares, night terrors, snoring and sleep walking.
Did you know that according to the National Sleep Foundation, at least 90% of us use technology during the hour before we go to bed? This can often affect the time it takes us to fall asleep and the quality of sleep we get. It’s a problem that every parent deals with when it comes to kids, but it can be just as detrimental to adults. The Sleep Help Institute has some great ideas on minimizing the effect of technology on sleep, changing your light settings and creating a better bedtime routine.
Here’s hoping you and your family are getting better sleep soon.
And thanks to the Sleep Help Institute!
Administrative Professionals Day is Wednesday, April 25th. We value our office professionals and if we can do anything to make their job easier and more productive, we should!
Writing for her blog column Feng Shui Diva, Robyn Bentley has come up with some great tips.
Whether you’re the boss – or the Administrative Professional – these few tips can improve your work day, resulting in more productivity and less stress.
For instance, did you know that “getting out of the line of fire” in an office can improve mental and physical health? This can be accomplished by making sure a desk is not directly across from a doorway.
One of our favorite tips is remembering that “you are not your job”! It can be an important part of your life, but it doesn’t define you.
When you as a father show a genuine interest in your daughter and treat her with respect, you’re sending a very positive message to her. You’re telling her that all men should treat her in a similar manner. And darn it…they should!
Of course you want the best for your little girl, you want her to be safe, strong. You want her ready for anything – to face any challenge that comes her way, without worrying about her being over powered by some disrespectful guy. You certainly don’t want her seeking out dysfunctional relationships because of the way she was raised by her father. It’s important to be able to take a step back, look at your relationship with your daughter and evaluate it…leaving your pride and “Don’t tell me how to raise my kid” attitude behind you. Think to yourself what is best for your little girl.
Whether you or someone you know need help building a positive dad/daughter relationship or maybe just need a reconnect. There are some great tips here to help you on your way.
A great first step is to get involved in your daughter’s life. We all have rough, long days at work and put up with enormous loads of crap from people, but you’re a parent. You don’t get to come home after work and immediately turn on the TV or flip on your iPad? Reevaluate your priorities. By getting involved with at least one aspect of your daughter’s life, you will see a change in how connected the two of you are. Try maybe coaching her sports team or have dinner with the family a few times a week. Get to know the dads in her social circle is huge. Then you’re all on the same page.
Respecting her mother is and your own mother will speak volumes to your little girl about how men treat women. It will show her what she should expect in the future. Think about it this way. You love your daughter more than anything so always treat your wife the way you want your daughter’s future husband to treat her. Trust me, she is watching you for cues on how to behave with men.
Also hug her! Don’t EVER forget…no matter how old your daughter gets, never stop showing her affection. Hugs may not seem welcome when she’s a teen and is acting like she is embarrassed to be around you, but studies show that the teenage years are the most formative time for a young girl’s self-esteem. She needs those hugs – especially from her father.
To read more, go to sandiegofamily.com
Just because you have become a mother, that doesn’t mean you stop being someone’s child. The effects of an abusive, toxic, or damaging mother can be passed down through generations without you even knowing it. New mothers hoping to take their parenting down another, non-toxic direction have a tough road to travel.
Kathryn Smerling, Ph.D., LCSW, a family therapy professional who practices in Manhattan states, “There is an axiom in family therapy known as repeat and repair; you either repeat the same mistakes or repair them. Either you mindlessly keep the same cycle going that you experienced as a child or you decide to be the one to make the change. To stop a hurtful cycle in its tracks, you have to understand what about your childhood worked, and what didn’t. You can educate yourself about healthy parenting practices, and put your knowledge to work each day as you endeavor to break the cycle.”
Try hard not to let the past creep up on the present. These damaged roots influence just about everything in our lives — and go much deeper than you realize. The past is a part of you. The way you were raised influences psychological and emotional development. It can hinder your ability to move on in this world with purpose and comfort.
One thing we often do when trying to change patterns is overcompensation. Keep in mind though that trying to be the perfect parent all the time is incredibly stressful, and sadly, usually doomed to fail. You’re not Supergirl and shouldn’t try to pretend to be. Relax, take lots of deep breaths and be aware of your actions and what you’re trying to overcome.
Possibly one of the most important things to remember is to not forget about self-care. It’s so vitally important to remember to make time for self-care. Yoga classes, therapy, artistic pursuits, and hobbies. Remember what they tell you on a commercial airline flight – secure your own oxygen mask before helping others. It translates into many facets of life – you are no good to others if you can’t function properly yourself.
Don’t give up and DON’T GIVE INTO ANGER. Once you give in to anger and frustration you have lost. Stay on course, taking time for yourself when you feel overwhelmed. Talk to your spouse, friends and family for support.
To read more about this topic, go to romper.com