Great news! It’s Mom’s Night Out. One of those rare occasions that you can kick back, unwind, and laugh with some friends. In addition to the promise of wine and cheese, you can also bet that
Photo Credit: flickr.com/photos/e3000/
you’ll be socializing with some interesting mom types on your night off.
In no particular order, allow us to present … the 11 Women You Meet at a Mom’s Night Out:
1. The “I Don’t Know My Limits” Mom — This mom is really ready for some fun! She just had a baby and as a result is completely unclear on what her current limits are. Two years ago, she could down four glasses of wine no problem. In her current state, she’ll get blitzed after her second sip of chardonnay. You may discover her dancing on a table which really isn’t meant for dancing (since you’re not at a club; you’re at The Cheesecake Factory, and also it’s Wednesday). Be patient with her, she needs to unwind and she’ll only be a drunken shit-show for a few more months.
2. The Selfie Enthusiast — Her main goal is not to enjoy the night, but to document it for social media. If you find yourself on Mom’s Night Out with The Selfie Enthusiast, you’ll most likely be pulled into multiple group shots a la Ellen at the Oscars with people you don’t really know and certainly aren’t having the “Best Time Ever!!” with, despite what the caption on Instagram says.
3. The Check-In Every 5 Minutes Mom — She isn’t accustomed to leaving her baby with a sitter, and she can’t stop checking her phone for updates. Is her baby crying? Is she sleeping? Does she have a fear of the sitter that will leave permanent scars on her psyche? This mom will excuse herself for multiple runs to the bathroom, which cannot possibly all be to urinate. You can only conclude that short of a cocaine problem this mom is secretly calling the sitter to make sure her kid hasn’t choked on applesauce.
4. The Mompreneur — You thought you were going to a friend’s house for dinner. WRONG! You are actually at a 3-D Lashes sales event in disguise. Your local mompreneur has tricked you, and before the end of the night you will be asked to buy $1,000 worth of merchandise, become a sales rep, and host the next “party.” Good luck with that.
My SD Moms 
