Now that my ex-husband and I have an official agreement and are sending our divorce papers in, I am reaching the “end” of the divorce marathon and wonder how I will truly feel upon
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that finish line. Interestingly, this is all happening right as the brand-new “divorce selfie” has made a splash on social media. I know without even asking that my ex would have no interest in taking a “divorce selfie,” but I remain divided about the idea. Would documenting that moment remind me later on down the line of why I decided to divorce and how we have done it so amicably? Or would it simply be one brief glimpse of the many emotions divorce has brought to the table for me? Don’t get me wrong. The divorce selfie is nice. Seeing people divorce amicably is always refreshing. However, I don’t think it’s truly indicative of the whole divorce process. To me, that selfie is just a snapshot of a long or for some, short journey to divorce. The questions I found myself asking were: Who were these people at the beginning of the process? The middle? Now at the end? What truly defines someone after divorce — what truly defines a divorced mom once that judge signs the official papers — is how she uses adversity and a tough situation to her favor, to transform her into a stronger, happier, and better person and mother. That sounds like an earful, doesn’t it? I’m sure you’re thinking I have high expectations and that may be so, but if a mom doesn’t decide to make changes whether large or small after divorce, then the whole experience and all its life lessons were wasted. So divorcing moms and divorced moms, if you don’t think you can manage to bust a smile with your official ex-husband for a divorce selfie, don’t sweat it! Not everyone is going to be happy on the final divorce day. In fact, some people are sad, and others are just relieved it’s finally over. Ignore the Internet sensations and perhaps questions from your friends on whether you’ll be taking a snapshot on the big day or how you handled the big moment. Be concerned with who you are now and where you plan to go after divorce.
My SD Moms 